In the fumbling wonder of the now I find it impressively hard to be centered and timely and true without being a bit bumblily and outside myself. It is like a car on its way to loosing control. It is like falling in love. And it even has shades of insanity. I have never really intended to be sane or reasonable but the people who have loved me best throughout my life have been people grounded and honest about the wispiness of my soul. One friend said, “David you are easy to like and hard to love.” Another said, “You are the most discontent content person I know.” These thoughts or observations from people who have my best in mind have layers of context around them and were said and heard well but they still hurt. It pains me to think I leave others behind in my pursuit and I wonder why the present is so painful to rest in.
And there are new things and times but when I think on the words friends have spoken they read me like a book. They open me up and make me stop. They also send me deep into the relationships I care most about. Am I paced in such a way I am able to love and be loved? Are the things I think about becoming worries or are they the stuff of real life? I want all green lights but in truth I want a few reds too. I want to study an intersection instead of flying through it. It is just better. I want to grow a beard and be patient as it takes over my face turning me into Wilda-Dave. I want to see a counselor. I want to walk instead of running everywhere. Those who know me, well, know Ill need help with this sort of thing. My mind is entrenched in the beyond and numbing sense of adventure whether thought or action but I sense a voice saying… well saying what I just said. The process the journey the time inbetween is where I become a character in the act of redemption. Not somewhere else or during some adventure but rather tonight… right now ‘as I go’.
were getting all greens, were livin inbetween
your eyes and these skies
an im in the drops and i cant look back at you
cause im by your side riding to somewhere new
love is the only revolution, goin blaze by blaze up this mountain
switchbackin switchbackin through
an im in the drops and i cant look back at you
cause im by your side riding to somewhere new
ive been consumed and you put me out to soon
im raised and im dyin an fallin right through the tide
the wind goes by and the lilies fly in line
and im gone
yes im gone for good
but im in the drops and i can’t look back at you
cause im by your side an we’re ridin to somewhere new
